NYC Perverts' Saloon

Sunday, I had a much smaller than usual tea party - mostly the confessional bloggers.

The occasion was an interview by a Craig Collinson, a director affiliated with Nobles Gate, a production company that makes documentaries for BBC's Channel 4. I guess it's their equivalent of PBS. He's making a documentary with the working title of Sex Blogessy, which "examines how the Internet has provided women with a forum to discuss their sexuality in a way that is more frank and explicit than ever before."

I had spoken to a few other TV producers, but I felt they got it. Abby Lee and Suzanne Portnoy were interviewed in London (with Selina egging them on). Craig was coming to NY to interview us and Jessica Cutler. We were pretty on guard. Some of us remembered well the public reading at Galapagos. We all had reactions (even me, and I didn't read). We felt incredibly exposed and vulnerable.

My big concern was protecting our anonymity. I stowed away the personal photographs in a big camphor wood chest in the bedroom. At Ricky's, I bought an auburn wig. Turns out I didn't need it. The camera crew accommodated us by filming parts of our bodies. We could see Calico and Rachel's mouths, Tess and Selina's cleavage, Sinclair's grey vest, my hands, Lolita's overalls, Jefferson's knee. The monitor shot above shows the intentionally fuzzy group shot. (More pictures)

We did a roundtable, with Craig posing questions off camera. His original assumption is that because of the internet, we're all away behind our computers, in these little boxes. If anything, we are just the opposite, and treasure the community we have. And reading the blogs helps you to know a person before you meet. He had good questions and they kept us discussing them long after they had to leave to interview Jessica Cutler (she stood them up). He was very amused that perverts can get together and have a civilized gathering and talk so freely.

I could be taking tea with my grandmother, on a Sunday like this Craig said.

Except you wouldn't be talking about pegging, now would you? I said.

What's pegging? he asked. So we told him. ;-D (Link to the excellent Savage Love article, co-written with Violet Blue).

Afterward, we agreed that it had gone quite well. Maybe because we've known each other longer, were in a private space, we weren't onstage, we've been living with these identities longer. I used the expression, "real pseudonym," which got a big laugh, but after several years, we have more established blog personalities As Lolita said, it was just a lively discussion among friends. In a safe space.

The real hijinks happened after the crew packed up. I served mint juleps and strawberry shortcake. We somehow started talking about flogging (I had Twittered about how the percussion class I was taking was good for my flogging arm.) Next thing you know, Sinclair's flogging Jefferson, with Lolita coaching. We all took turns. And no, you can't see the pictures of his boxers with rubber duckies!

I'll let my guests do the talking, because they're much better writers than me.

• Sinclair posts about the heteronormative paradigm and gender imbalance in the sexblog community.
• Tess writes about blogging and flogging.
• Lolita's says It's all British to me

My strawberry shortcake, made from scratch. More food porn.

You can pre-order it from Amazon.com.

Here are her upcoming appearances:

June 2: C*lick Me netporn conference & European debut of The Bi Apple, at Paradiso in Amsterdam

June 4: SMUT reading, Galapagos Art Space, 8 pm at 70 North 6th street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn

June 5: Bluestockings Bookstore, 7 pm at 172 Allen Street, NYC

June 6: McNally Robinson Booksellers Seal Authors Event with Jessica Valenti
and Helen Boyd, 7 pm at 53 Prince St, NYC

June 7: Brookline Booksmith, 7 pm at 279 Harvard Street, Brookline, MA

June 11: Museum of Sex panel discussion with Lux Nightmare, Ellen Friedrichs, Madeline Glass and Marie Lyn Bernard, 7 pm at 233 5th Avenue, NYC

June 12: KGB Bar $pread celebrates Naked on the Internet, time TBA at 85 East 4th, NYC

July 10: Center for Sex and Culture, 7 pm at location TBA, San Francisco

July 11: Modern Times Bookstore, time TBA at 888 Valencia Street, San Francisco

July 14: Writers with Drinks, The Make-Out Room, 7 pm at 3225 22nd Street, San Francisco

Tea Party: Showing appreciation
Originally uploaded by viviane212.

When a sissy maid does a good job, one of the ways to thank her for good service, is to bend her over, and show your appreciation on her butt.

At Sunday's tea party, Jefferson, Suzanne Portnoy and Viviane spanked and flogged Sissy Maid Stephanie, until it was a bright and rosy red.

Complete the following sentence. Audacia Ray is..
A New Yorker (going on 8 years), a sex worker rights advocate, kinda-former alt model, safer sex educator, professional porn watcher, curator, porn director, Executive Editor of $pread (a magazine by and for sex workers), contributor to Fleshbot, and a ham-and-cheese sandwich aficionado.

You have a book, “Naked on the Internet,” coming out. What’s it about?
My book is about female sexuality and the Internet. Most media done about this topic is polarized into two camps: the Internet is coming to get your daughters! OR the Internet is a glorious, hedonistic playground! I attempt to go beyond this and explore the ways in which both of these statements are true and false for different women. Most importantly, my book is about the real ways that women use the Internet in their sexual (and sex industry) exploration. I really loathe the overuse of the words “cyber” and “virtual” in mainstream media, because I think that though digital, interactions and explorations women participate in via the Internet are very real and hold a lot of emotional weight for women. (more...)